I was experiencing a difficult time. Stress was an overriding factor, but I was raging at my daughters. I threw four fits in two weeks. Awful, heart-wrenching, fist pounding on tables, yelling fits. I was totally out of control in front of my 10 and 12-year-olds. I promised them that I would find help if I had another one, and I did. I had another fit a few days later, and I found Nancy. I was raised by a wonderful, but raging, mother. She raised five children. We all graduated from college, we all have good families, we all care about the world, and we are all very close. I want to do the same for my girls, minus the heart attacks, eating disorder, numerous stress-related health issues, and the shame she still has for her raging episodes. .I began to understand why I was throwing fits. Nancy helped me find my right brain and recognize my own brain patterns, so I am learning how to control my rages.
Nancy and I have worked together to use my love of poetry to tell my story. I would find excerpts that reminded me of my own life and use them to help me write poem after poem. Then, Nancy would have me underline a place in my own poem and illustrate it using my right brain. In the end, I had 15 painted visions of what I found out about myself . We pieced them together in a visual quilt, and I am currently in the process of connecting my worst self-images (which are on the left side), to my core person (which are in the middle column), to my most life-is-worth-living memories (which are on the right). Through writing, visualizing and creating movements to these “Therapy” poems, I have found ways to redirect the urge to rage. For example, when I hear my daughters bickering, I reach up high in the air, and breathe with my toes pointed outward. I use this motion often, instead of screaming at them to “Stop yelling!” It has worked to make their relationship better. Nancy knows how to take the magic in my brain, and gives exercises that are personal, meaningful, and artistic to release and connect my left and right cortical functions. I am now able to dialogue and manage my body and emotions with my frontal lobe, instead of going into a reptilian rage.